Alexandria tore through Darius' apartment like a dose of castor oil and Darius sat down in the lounge and let her.
“I don't think I thought this through properly.” He muttered, watching a streak of red, tattered ringlets flash from the bathroom to the kitchen. A tone from the door had him sighing in relief. “Mrs Ling! Thank god ... I mean how nice to see you. Alexandria! Alex ... eek!” Alexandria came wandering in with at least four chocolate covered wafers crammed into her mouth. “Alexandria, this is Mrs Ling our housekeeper. Mrs Ling, this is Alexandria Rayne.”
“Fleashed oo eet oo.” Alexandria nodded, spraying crumbs all over the place.
“Netty, please.” Netty smiled and looked like everyone's mother and grandmother rolled into one. She was only around the same height as Alexandria but she was twice as round and had lovely almond shaped eyes, her hair was tied back into a shiny, greying plait.
“Yes. Alexandria? Did you run the bath?” Darius asked brightly.
“No, did you fill the bathtub with water?”
“Why? Well so you can get in the thing, of course.” Darius said in exasperation.
“Not 'huh', pardon. Bath, hot water, get in it.” Darius nodded expectantly.
“In it?” Alexandria looked horrified. “You're shitting me?”
“I certainly am not. Go on.” Darius shoo'd Alexandria towards the bathroom.
“Noooooo!” Alexandria wailed. “In it?”
“Alexadria, it's only a ...” Darius looked at the sheer horror on Alexandria's face. “Seriously? You've never taken a bath before?” Alexandria shook her head furiously.
“Oh I've washed and that, when I could. I'm not a dirty bitch or anything.” She said defensively.
“No, of course not.” Darius smiled. “Tell you what, just close the door here and see how it goes. Everything you need is in there.”
“Come on sweety, I'll do your hair. It's absolutely beautiful.” Netty bustled by and Darius almost collapsed in relief. “Clothes?”
“I borrowed a Cadet uniform from the Military building.” Darius went to retrieve the uniform. “Hmm. I think it may be a tad large. I didn't expect her to be such a squirt.”
“Ack! Oo! It's OK, I'll clean the bugger up!” Alexandria's voice drifted from the world of the bathroom.
“It'll have to do, Netty. I'll pay someone to go and buy her some suitable clothes.” He thrust the uniform into Netty's hands. “Good luck!” He smiled widely and closed the bathroom door, a fleeting image of Dean Figgis wetting himself laughing sprang across his mind.
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