Chapter 2


Andy had been gone a good three hours before Baillie decided to crawl from her bed. She groped her way into the kitchen for coffee, then ambled out towards the computers.

“Oo! Have that.” She stuck two fingers up at her computer. Andy had taken the side off it and removed some of it's innards. Baillie took the laptop and adopted a very lounging position on the sofa with it. “I could get used to this.” She said, putting her cup on the floor.

“Good morning Baillie.” She almost fell off the sofa completely when she heard the flat, metallic voice of IANAN coming from the laptop.

“Ha-ha Andy.” She muttered. “Leave IANAN running, and the lappy on standby. Mirth.”

“You are gorgeous, Baillie.” IANAN said and Baillie smiled. Andy really was wonderful to her.

“Thank you IANAN.”

“You will remove your clothing now.”

“Excuse me?” Baillie started laughing. “You weirdo, Andy Gallagher.” She shook her head and started up her art programs. “Ugh! Slow or what!” She pulled a face at the spinning egg-timer on the screen. “Sorry IANAN, I'll have to turn you off.”

“I would rather you turned me on.” IANAN said.

“Hmm. I'll get you for this Andy.” Baillie smiled and clicked on IANAN's exit button, her art program opened seconds later, then crashed two minutes after that. “I don't bloody believe this!” Baillie said in exasperation. She started the computer again and IANAN popped up first.

“Hello Baillie.”

“For shit's sake.” She sighed, reaching for her phone. Andy said he'd be in the office all day. “Andy?”

“Hiya Tiddler. What's up?” Andy answered the phone.

“The laptop's crashed.” Baillie said flatly. “Maybe putting IANAN on it wasn't a good idea. It's too big.”

“IANAN isn't on it, Baillie.” Andy said.

“IANAN is on it.” Baillie argued. “It's running on startup and I don't know how to disable it.”

“Which laptop are you using?”

“The one you sorted out for me.”

“Tids, IANAN isn't on that one.” Andy said patiently.

“Andy, I'm looking at the bloody thing!” Baillie said in irritation.

“Weird. I don't remember even testing it on that laptop.” Andy mused.

“Well you must have done. How do I uninstall it? I can't run my editors for it.” Baillie said in annoyance.

“Why?” IANAN butted in. “I love you Baillie!”

“Hey! I heard that!” Andy laughed. “Are you cybering with my program?”

“No but it's not for the want of it trying.” Baillie laughed. “It told me to take my clothes off.”

“Did it?” Andy said in surprise. “Hmm I need to take a look at that. I'll create a different command for some of the responses.” He mused. “Baillie it doen't have an uninstaller. It'll be a bugger to get out unless you know what you're doing.”

“Which I don't”

“I'm sorry Tiddler. I had no idea IANAN was on that one, otherwise I'd have used another one.” Andy apologised. “I won't can do anything until I get in later tonight.”

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