“Because I already had Baillie! Don't be unkind. Stacy was ... was ... original.” Andy sniggered.

“She had a face that would turn the undead.” Steve sniffed. “I'll just come home with you. If you're adorable, then I'm a pinup.”

“You can sod off.” Andy laughed. “Anyway, Baillie has enough amorous admirers with IANAN there.” He told Steve about Baillie's harassment at the coding of his perverted program.

“You are shitting me? So she thought it was you?” Steve didn't know if to laugh or not.

“She called me a slimy little shit. Seriously though, Steve, it scared her quite a bit and there's not a lot scares Baillie.” Andy said in concern.

“I bet it did.” Steve opened IANAN's configuration panel. “She OK now though?”

“She is now she's seen me moving that bloody file. If I ever find out who put that shit into my system I'll throttle them. It's not so much them messing with the program, it's the fact that they were talking shit about my girlfriend.” Andy said darkly.

“I can understand that. There's a lot of sick arseholes out there. So who has legitimate access to IANAN?”

“Me and you.” Andy shrugged. “Obviously I discounted you. We need the security codes changed, some bastard's got through it. We'll do it now.” Andy continued typing with one hand while he answered the phone with the other.

“Andy?” Baillie was upset again.

“Baillie! What's wrong?” Andy sat up straight.

“Andy can you log into the bank account?”

“Yes of course I can. What's happened?” Andy started typing again. “Are you ... you ... what the fuck is that?”

“A rather large withdrawal payment.”

“Rather large? It's twenty bloody grand!” Andy typed a bit more. “Bradley and Sons Motors?” He said in astonishment.

“I have an emailed receipt from them. We've bought a BMW.”

“A ... a ... are you drunk? I'm sorry! Tiddler, I'm sorry. It's OK, baby, don't get wound up. I'll contact the bank right now and sort it.” Andy ran his fingers through his hair. “Er ... there isn't a huge BMW outside is there?”

“No. Andy? Well ... have you bought me a birthday present?” Baillie's birthday was in a few weeks time and Andy had actually forgot about it until then. He winced and scrolled through the bank statements.


“Ah. I though it was a bit over the top.” Baillie said. Walter Pearson's jewellers, fifteen hundred pounds for a ruby, diamond, and platinum engagement ring. “Oh well. I'll put it back in it's box.”

“You have it there?” Andy's head was reeling.

“It came by recorded delivery this morning. I nearly wet myself.” Baillie laughed weakly. “I did think it was a bit odd that you'd just let me get it by post, then I thought I'd intercepted a surprise by mistake. Once I saw the receipt for the car, the ring fell into place.”

“This is doing my head in. OK, Tiddler, try not to worry. I'll call the bank and freeze the accounts.” Andy rubbed his eyes with his thumb and finger.

“What should I do?” Baillie asked pathetically. Andy cringed. He recognised the mood straight away. The ring was wrenching at Baillie as well as the whole weird, illegal situation surrounding it.

“Just put it back in it's box, Tids.” Andy sighed. “I'll try and find out what's happened, then call you back. OK?”

“OK. Love you.”

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