“I told you, we have no bank details on any computers. That was just out and out theft by someone.” Andy said.

“I know, it's weird.” Steve mused. “Remember though, everyone's bank details are on at least one computer. A bloody great big one in the bank itself.”

“I suspect you're spending the evening with Mr. Daniels there, Steve.” Andy smiled.

“Me and Jack are good friends, yes.” Steve laughed. “Get yourself back to your girl, she needs you, and don't forget her bloody birthday! Draw a ring on her finger with a biro if you need to. Dullard.” Steve hung up.

Andy insisted on scanning Baillie's computer for her, thus relegating her to the sofa on the laptop. She was bound to associate his debugging of IANAN with those emails and he didn't want her freaked out any more than she already was. There was no one freaked out more than Andy himself just now.

“Good evening, Andy.” IANAN was in silent text mode. Andy glanced at his watch. 23:04.

“Pull recent data input files.” Andy typed.

“Last one, two, or three?”

“Three.” Andy watched IANAN cough up the colour and shape files.

“Next file is missing. Permit me to search?”

“No.” Andy knew where that foul smut was. IANAN searched anyway and Andy snorted in irritation.


“No.” As if! Andy scrolled to the bottom of the data to make sure IANAN hadn't ignored his 'No' command again.

“Next file is unassembled.” Andy only just stopped himself from typing in 'Eh?'

“Assemble file.” Andy watched in fascination as IANAN delved into folders from all over the place then spat out a perfectly formatted page of data. He tried to formulate the coding needed for that in his head and it was mind boggling. No way had he coded that, he'd have been as pleased as punch if he had. He scrolled through the newly assembled data and there they were. Rape, love, slit throat, Baillie, hurt, harm, Tiddler, protect, protection, police, stall. What the hell was this shit? “Where are you getting this?” Andy whispered to himself. He highlighted the words 'rape, slit, throat' then typed in 'reverse path.'


“What?” Andy blurted, then realised how loud he'd blurted. “Er ... did you say something?” He smiled at Baillie.

“Yes. Do you want a coffee?” Baillie repeated.

“I'd love one. How you getting on?”

“Great! Almost finished.” She kissed Andy on the way to the kitchen.

“Listen to me, IANAN. Rape, slit, throat. Reverse Path. Now!” Andy just stared at the monitor in shock. IANAN was getting information from the internet! “No, that's impossible.”

“What is?” Baillie put Andy's mug on the desk.

“Oh me mucking up these figures.” Andy lied and turned his attention to Baillie and his coffee. “Can I see your stuff?”

“Hey! What happened to telling me I was gorgeous first?” Baillie laughed.

“I meant your designs, you little nympho.” Andy laughed too. “Hey they're really good Tids, seriously.”

“The magazine say it's OK to use them in my portfolio too.” Baillie said proudly.

“Portfolio Compilation Complete.” Andy spun round to look at his computer. A yellow folder was flashing on the screen.

“You made me a portfolio!” Baillie was delighted. “Did you include these?” Andy nodded and shook his head at the same time and clicked on the folder. “Oh Andy! It's fantastic!” It was a complete and very professional portfolio of all Baillie's best work, her qualifications, her CV and her work experience, all under the heading 'Baillie Flint Graphix.' “It's fantastic, Andy, I love it.” Baillie kissed Andy. “Best birthday present ever. It's great.”

“I love you Baillie.” IANAN told her and Andy gave it a dirty look.

“I'm pleased you like it.” Andy smiled. He'd never seen that portfolio before. He couldn't remember seeing some of the designs in it in his life. There were even two in there that Baillie had did when she was in school! “I'll get it on a disc for you.” Baillie kissed him again and went to finish her designs on the laptop. Andy reset IANAN to text mode and wondered how the hell it had set to vocal anyway!

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